Newspaper Archive of
Arkansas Catholic
Litlte Rock, Arkansas
December 7, 1962     Arkansas Catholic
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December 7, 1962
 

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"O 18--THE GUARDIAN DECEMBER 7, 1962 Family Clinic How to Prompt Husbands to Talk BY FATttER JOHN L. THOMAS, S.J. Associate Professor of Sociology, St. Louis University How can a wife get her husband to talk to herO My husband, is a wonderful man and I feel we really love each other, but I just can't get the guy to talk. When he comes home from work and I ask, "What's new?" he generally says, "Nothing," or "Noth- ing much," and that's it. Sometime I feel he's in the category ef "I lead two lives," since I learn so little about his activities when he's away from home. Shouldn't couples talk about what happens during the day when they're apart so that they have more to share in common, or is this expecting too much? Stuttgart Bowden Furniture & Maytag Co. "You Furnish The Girl" "We Furnish The Home" Stuttgart Phone WA 3-8541 .-.-* Distributors- Jobbers Rice Farm Equipment 00r-00r-gr Stuttgart - DeWitt Decree Issued On St. Joseph Vatican City, (Radio, (E)) The Sacred Congregation of RiteS, in accordance with di- rections given Nov. 13 by His ltoliness Pope John XXIII, has ordered that the name of St. Joseph he inserted in the Canon of the Mass as of December 8. It will be placed in the Com- municantes, the third prayer in the Canon of the Mass. The name will come immediately after the Blessed Mother's name and precede those of the apostles and a dozen early martyrs. As in most areas calling for nmtual adjustment in marriage, Sheila, it's not primarily a mat- ter of expecting too much or too little but of trying to hell) each other develop as fully as possible and then learning to live with that. Some husbands and wives spend so much time bemoaning assumed deficien- cies in their partners that they never get around to appreciat- ing their good qualities. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't aim high or continue hwing to improve your relationships, but you must always maintain a healthy concern and respect for reality and its inherent limita- tations. Every marriage is the cooperative creation of this one particular man and this one particular woman, so that con- sidered from the viewpoint of the individual couple, the ques- tion concerning what traits man and woman ought to pos- sess becomes rather academic. Among the characteristic dif. ferences usually associated with men and women perhaps none stands out more clearly than their attitude toward talking. Whether it expresses a need or is merely an acquired habit, women in all known societies appear to be much more talka. tire than men. This is doubt- less very fortunate for man- kind, because if babies had to depend upon .their fathers in learning to talk, most of us would probably remain dumb or be forced to rely on sign language and a few symbolic grunts! Of course your real concern is not with talking but with sharing through communica- tion. Although some (mascu- line?) cynic has remarked that I00CE00D hOE RICELAND RICE is finest quality, natural, unprocessed, white milled rice. It is naturally quick 'n' easy to cook so it does not have to be pre-cooked or specially processed at the factory. Write For FREE Recipe Booklet! New, exciting ways to serve rice Write Dept. N, P.O. Box 815 Stuttgart, Ark. The Arkansas Rice Growers Cooperative Association Stuttgart and Jonesboro, Arkansas PUTS CROSS ON TARGET--On target with a cross for spire of a new Catholic church in Pievcrbelvincino, Ita] a U.S. Army helicopter attached to the llth Aviation pany, stationed in nearby Vicenza. The six-foot cross placed atop the 80-foot high steeple despite gusty winds driving rain. Hundreds of spectators from the area watched and applauded the successful training tion. (NC Photo) all wmnen like the strong, silent type of man because they think he's listening, this state- merit apparently does not ap- ply to you--and a great num- ber of other wives. You right- ly regard talking as a two way street, as an important medium for the sincere, intinaate e,:- change and sharing of atti- tudes, views, and experiences. There are other means of com- munication and other elements to be shared in marriage, yet talking retains primary signifi- cance both in range of expres- sion and intimacy of personal revelation. SINCE TALKING is such a characteristically human trait, why should it become a prob- lem in marriage? Why do we say we can always recognize a married couple in a restaurant because they are the ones not talking to each other? I sup- pose if you asked such couples why they were silent, they would reply that there was nothing to talk about. Yet they probably talked freely enough during courtship and may still display skill and charm when conversing with otlmrs. What has happened? Thei'e are several possibil- Sportsman's Restaurant & Drive-In Restaurant Open 24 Hours Steak Lunches Fish Southern Fried Chicken. Home Made Pies Private Dining Room for Banquets & Parties Complete Drive-In Service at Rear of Restaurant Evelyn Mahfouz, Owner Dial WAbash 2-1931 STUTTGART ities, Sheila. volves the maintenance " judicious balance between ing and listening--two skills that few possess while some have neither one or the other lack skill in talking they have never learned verbal expression to their or experiences and feel no desire to do they keep things to Others don't talk because don't think; that is, the non.reflective, unima tive, passive type who ehiefly by habit or routine find little to excite their der, interest, or the other hand, sorn' talk too much, in the their words reflect interests too shallow or t01 row to be of interest to Lack of skill in listening result from shallow edness or an exaggerated mate of tile importance of  own insights. Far more ing is the person who but doesn't hear; that gives you plenty of talk, but his next remark he hasn't heard a word said. A really version of this approach ask a question involving opinion or considerable planation and then pay tention to the answer. of listening well impli cere respect for and in what another has to MANY MARRIED don't talk because I they no longer listen, have ceased to listen be they have lost interest il partners' viewpoints or they have nothing to marriage is divinely to bring masculine nine personality to full dt ment through the cou tinued sharing of their coml)lementarity, so failure to foster eommun implies failure to tile real meaning of union. Spouses who interests in sharing ners' feelings, attitudes, periences, miss one of tlle fulfilling aspect of How can you get your talk? Well, Sheila, See CLINIC on Page 19 KLINE'S r ' The tlouse Of A Thousand Gifts" 323 S. Main Stuttgart