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Arkansas Catholic
Litlte Rock, Arkansas
November 8, 1974     Arkansas Catholic
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November 8, 1974

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THE GUARDIAN, NOVEMBER 8, 1974 PAGE 5 The Thing We Should Fear Is a Denial of Love By Angela M. Schreiber |I BRIGHT nursery was filled with children -- there was a girl sitting in a cushioned high chair (her bones are ex- I!Y. brittle, so delicate that she cannot be handled) who )htely said, "What's your name? I'm Melissa and I'm so you came to see us." And there was Stevie eating his lunch. aUldn't talk but itwas easy to see that he liked company. ! I noticed a little girl lying on a soft mat on the floor then . She had had her lunch and the nurses were busily k'g those who had not eaten. So I picked her up. I held her [',and soon she began to laugh She liked being talked to and [!ear enough to see my face.'She was three years old, but , Uld never sit or walk or run. She could only respond to an I [*ce. l?f I HELD her, I was distracted by a baby's first jargon. It troth the crib by the window -- a baby boy with golden red d a face that made the sun seem to shine brighter when e iled He was up on his hands and knees and reaching out to . ?he li'ttle girl I held was quieted so I out her down and went J . I was about to pick him up when he put his tiny hand !n e *;hen I asked the nurse why he was here She said, Billy s ts - " g . Were afraid they might become too attached to him and z "ught it best to leave him with us." Is then that I knew I could not bear to hold him in my arms ce. If I did, I could never let him go. He was so like my :VOnne. And his parents would never know how beautiful Iis mother would never know her baby s touch, nor hear gh. She would never rock him nor kiss his cheek. She t be there to pet him when he fell or show him a baby Play with him. She would never do any of these things 5  Somewhere along the way she had been conditioned to he wasn't whole. She could not accept a mongoloid child. lave been the obstetrician or the pediatrician or simply KNOW YOUR FAITH Sponsored By Arkansas State Council Knights of Columbus necessity it is qualified rather than total. Any youngster brought up in an institutional setting is necessarily deprived of that fullness of love which can only be experienced in a family set- ting. Educators endlessly talk about, write about and discuss the "development of the whole individual so that he may reach his full potential." The so-called "normal" people in our society have IQs ranging anywhere from 90 on up. Children, depending upon their IQs and specific talents, grow up to take their places in society according to their abilities. Even though there is wide variety of potential among the "normal," each individual in this category is considered by our society as a whole human being. WHEN WE HEAR that a friend's baby was born with a defect, mental or physical, we are sorry and we pray for them. This is good. But how many of us give that family real moral support? Do we make a special trip to see the new baby? Do we tell the mother how sweet her baby is? Do we suggest that this child has much to give? Do we continue our visits? Do we send our little one over to play with her child? Some of us do. Others of us are afraid that some of the defect of the other child will rub off on ours, so we stay away.  PEOPLE Even though attitudes are improving, there is still a long, long who will share these things with him are way to go. I think most people consider any defect an impossible ,'; I-le will grow up in a home for retarded children. It is a till--'" hrome surrounded by trees. The older children have hurdle for the "development of a whole human being." The concept that every person is whole so long as he develops to his L" rooms, each with a different decor. And the playroom full potential needs to be thought about and discussed. Every ld with fine toys. Each member of the staff is devoted ' child is God's special creation, every Child has something to :Ork, and filled with love for these little children, some of give, child is whole and child can teach us. every every qre afflicted with cerebral palsy, brain damage, epilepsy, THE QUESTIONS might be asked: "What can a retarded child teach me? What can he give?" There are many answers. For me, it was greater tolerance, more patience, a realization i" syndrome. It's perfectly true that no institution could be ilk, arid it's a shame that since there is still need for in- il ls that this one cannot be duplicated throughout the [Y thousands of times ove[ e a facilit nor how excellent [.rtheless no matter how f n Yw] a m ther and f, nthing can compare to life at home "th o nd brothers and sisters. KNOWN fact t'lat all children thrive on love. If an in- Prived of love, he will die. People who devote their lives institutions do provide love, but of COULD A MONK'S THING BE that no one individual is unfinished. Yvonne has given m e h e r love with no limitations; she has given me joy in a way that I do not know how to express, And the little girl I held who could only respond to cuddling left me with a feeling that had touched innocence, and with a sadness because I could not be there again to comfort her. BUT AS LONG as society considers perfection of body and mind to be requisites for a "whole" person, there will be many institutions because parents have come to maturity believing that "defective" children are not worth the effort. In reality, there should be very few institutions. There will, of course, always be some children who must be institutionalized -- those with severe medical problems; when one or both parents are ill; children who are emotionally uncontrollable -- these instances come to my mind, but there are certainly others. I am not saying that every mentally or physically handicapped child can be kept at home. I am saying that there are entirely too many children in institutions who really do not belong there and who would be better off with their families and their families would be better off too. THE AFFLICTED child's chances of growing up, working, and becoming a contributing member of the community would be greater if he had the full love of his parents along with good eductional experiences. It is usually difficult to project at birth just how far chidren can progress. And the only way to tell is to try. Trying nourishes love and love nourishes the spirit. Fear of loving any child is misplaced. The thing we should fear is a denial of love. As long as there is a little Billy in an institution, as long as a child waits to be held by a nurse, and as long as I send Yvonne out in the yard to play and another child greets her with the chant, "Retardate, Retardate, go play somewhere else. We don't want you. Go away, away, away!" I'll be acutely aware that recon- ciliation between people includes acceptance of all our fellow men without reservation. @ 1974 NC News Service YOUR THINB? Those of us who are Monks at Subiaco Abbey, a Benedictine center of activity. feel we are doing our thing for God and His people We all have gifts of talent and ability which God has gtven us The way we use them is in a communal life of prayer and work and all other shared activities We would like for you to consider the possibility that our way of life might be your thing, too why not write us for information so that when you choose to do your thing, Subiaco will be considered It could be that a monks thing is also your thing THE VOCATION DIRECTOR SUBIACO ABBEY , SUBIACO, ARKANSAS 72865 ,,_ "SWers of Sa/nt Benedict "That in all things God may be glorified" . For INSURANCE Of All Kinds FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF EASTERN ARKANSAS " Strong, Dependable Service SLice 1886 FORREST CITY, ARKAHSAS A. W. ISENMAN, JR. The Williams & Rose, agency, with whom Mr. Isenman is associated, provides insurance in leading stock companies . . . backed by customer service that means much to you in time of need. Rings - Adjacent Customer Parking - 372-3151 In Carlisle...TRY FULCHER FIRST! FULC00R HARDWARE 00Carhsle GAZZOLA VACCARO, JR. Since 1907 VACCAROLUMBER COMPANY "Builders o/Quality Homes" Phone 663-1141 Forrest City, Arkansas THE FULLNESS OF LOVE can only be experienced in the family, and regardless of the love, it is still qualified in an institution, Angela Schreiber relates in the accompanying article. (NC Photo) CHILDREN NEED YOU THE HOLY FATHERmS MISSION AID TO THE ORIENTAL CHURCH GIVE A CHILD A HOME WHO CAN'T SPARE SZ You are needed.., to act as a Morn or Dad to an orphan in the Holy Land, Ethiopia, or India. The cost is very little. The satisfaction is great. More than half of the 1,800,000 refugees in the Holy Land are boys and girls. A great many are orphans. Some barely exist by begging for milk, food, clothing Others are in the Holy Father's care -- supported by the generous friends of Near East Missions... You can "adopt" one of these children and guarantee him (or her) three meals a day, a warm bed, love and companion- ship and preparation to earn his own living. An orphan's support costs only $14 a month . . . $168 a year. send us the first month's support and we will send your "adopted" child's photo. You can write to him or her. The Sister who cares for your child will write to you, if the child cannot write yet. A close bond of love will develop. Please send the coupon with your offering today. IF ORPHANS BREAD is the club (dues: $1 a month) tha, t comes to the rescue when orphans need milk, medicines, underwear. Like to join? Send $1 everY month. ak IF HOLY YEAR TOURS Our Holy Father has designated 1975 as a Holy Year and urges more pilgrimages to the Holy Land. In accordance with his wishes, Catholic Near East is sponsoring weekly 15-day tours to Rome and the Holy Land at the attractive price of only $978 per person. Please write for further information. Dear Monsignor Nolan: Please return coupon with your offering ml 0 ENCLOSED PLEASE FIND FOR CA NAME STREET CITY .. STATE__ ZIP CODE__ THE CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOCIATION NEAR EAST MISSIONS TERENCE CARDINAL COOKE, President MSGR. JOHN G. NOLAN, National Secretary Write: CATHOLIC NEAR EAST WELFARE ASSOC. 1011 First Avenue New York. N.Y. 10022 Telephone: 212/826-1480