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Arkansas Catholic
Little Rock, Arkansas
October 25, 1974     Arkansas Catholic
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October 25, 1974
 

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THE GUARDIAN, OCTOBER 25. 1974 PAGE 5 Griping The National Pastime KNOW YOUR FAI Sponsored By Arkansas State Council Knights of Columbus I CLASPING HER HANDS over her ears, such as this I flirl is doing, is a form of griping, a means of I thelling, pouting if you will, against the will of an I 00.00Ult, in this case obstructing an Indian dance. (NC .J rnOto) l}y James and .Mary Kenny "I DON'T care if he is my brother I hate that creep." "Weirdo." "Dummy" WHILE ST. JOLIN may not have had 20th Century American families in mind, he did leave modern parents some consoling words. "Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth." They are worth remembering when there is very little loving in word or speech on the homefront. - Basically there are three types of remarks in children which drive parents up a wall: 1) angry name-calling after being disciplined, 2) griping over demands made on them, and 3) teasing siblings. WHEN A CHILD is disciplined, he sometimes reacts with explosive anger: "I hate you, Mommy! .... I can't It Takes a Selfless Act To Heal a Selfish Act IVST'EVE LANDREGAN (3:10); his harmony with other worship. It is a chronicle of God men, "It was the woman you reaching out in love and ten- !t!8 PLAY "The Great town" Eugene O'Neill put with me; she gave me the fruit, and I ate it," (3:12); and ,l TMthat man is born broken his harmony with nature, -snds his life mending. "Accursed be the soil because [,h'aee of God is the glue e 13 . of you." (3:17) Man, the only physical he ook of Genesis i i s this brokenness as the "0f man's separation from creature given the gift of free will, often uses it to opt out. He [ .Sin, an act of selfishness walks away from God to seek [lrlde that rejected the his fulfillment in things. And so .gift of being with God as the man-made rift widens, even lly is in order to be like God reaches out to reconcile !man imagined Him to as man to himself and restore, him i en 3:5) to his original integrity. i THE WEDGE of sin is THE OLD TESTAMENT is a God and man, witness to man's failure to rapidly respond to God. It is a record of as man loses his interior two thousand years of broken "I was afraid covenants, murdered prophets, naked so I hid," religious hypocrisy and idol tt DORADO - CAMDEH t n tL IL (Bob) Brown, Jr. Andy Ca. 1tger ill IT00v .-* .-z L} "..Y . ::. .Y [341-3 * 116 WEST ELM * ELDO,RADO, ARK. I I l' 101 [:st 5t.b Street T|mmlns Hardware & Furniture Co. 3-7104 Your Dealer - E1 Dorado TOP QUALITY OUACHITA VALLEY DAIRY Serving South [, Arkansas ARKANSAS ] iJ ii 862-3475 RADIO 0000RGcE co. II APPLIANCES ;,L 3Z0 We.t Main Young's Funeral Directors of Distinction JERRY YOUNG, Director [] Dorado, derness to His chosen people longing for the response in faithfulness that he had willed to seek, not to take. But man's response frequently was one of un- faithfulness and presumption punctuated with short-lived reconciliations brought about by his reaction to adversity rather than to God's promise. Man, mired down by selfishness and self-indulgence, was still too busy trying to be like the god he imagined, to respond to the invitation of the God that is. liE IS INCAPABLE of reconciling himself to God, and St. Paul speaks for all men who agonize over the disharmony within themselves when he cries out "though the will to do what is good is within me, the performance is not, with the result that instead of doing the good things I want to do, I carry out the sinful things I do not want." (Rom 7:18-19) Man is called to the freedom of the sons of God but so many times he is unable to cope with his freedom in his broken state, and instead of using freedom to be faithful, he uses it for self- indulgence which brings about "fornication, gross indecency and sexual irresponsibility; idolatry and sorcery; feuds and strangling, jealousy, bad temper and quarrels ; disagreements, factions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and similar things." (Gal. 5:19-21) :1 PERFE('T MAN, unbroken and unselfish was needed to respond in perfect love and faithfulness to God's offer of reconciliation. The woufld opened by one man's totally selfish act finally was healed by another man's totally selfless .act. The offending man was Adam The redeeming man -- ('hrisl. "'If it is certain that through one man's fall so many died, it is even more certain that divine grace, coming th,-ough the one man, Jesus ('hrist, came to so many as an abundant free gift."  Horn 5:15 And so the mending process begins. The grace of Christ through Ills ttoly Spirit provides (he glue that mends broken man, reconciling birn with (iod and ilhin himself Ills in.mr harmony restored, the Spirit pi'ovides the gifts man needs to reconcile himself witb other man. "'l,ove. :Ioy. peace. patience k:ndness, goodness, trustfulness, entleness and self- control." (Gal. 5:22) Then, restored and re-created by the Creator, man is charged with ministering God's recon- wait to get away from this place." Parents often react with anger and further punishment: "Don't you ever let me hear you talk like that again." ACTUALLY, parents have a lot to gain by going back to that line from St. John. Worry about the deeds but not about the speech. Tolerate or ignore the "bad mouth" of the child, but insist that the child do what he has been told. Anger after being disciplined is a fairly normal human reaction. When the boss criticizes Dad at work, he's angry, even when the criticism is justified. It is a rare person who can honestly say, "Thank you for correcting me." Ex- pressing anger through words is more mature than having a temper tantrum, throwing pots and pans, or starting a fist fight. For a child to be angry and to put his anger into words is a reasonably adult reaction. Tolerating this verbal anger says to the child, "See, it's all right to get angry. I still love you as a person." AT TIlE SAME time Mom or Dad must insist on the behavior that is required of the child, or their family discipline will be weakened. For example, Mark has forgotten to take out the trash. Morn notices this and reminds him once. Still no action. With the second reminder, Morn adds that Mark will also do dishes once as a punishment for failing to dispose of the trash. Mark lets go with a string of remarks ahout his parents, his house, his life, and the great way other families treat their sons. Morn might feel guilty about being such a demanding mother, or she might feel sorry for poor o1" Mark. In either case it is easy to hack down on her request. But wait a minute, Morn. As guide, disciplinarian, and general law- and-order of the household, it is important for you to insist that Mark do his chores. Otherwise, Mark quickly learns that a burst of anger gets him out of an unpleasant task, and Mom's authority goes down the drain. It is also important to hear and accept Iris resentment. Occasionally a child even needs to be encouraged to ex- press anger. Ellen is a pouter. When she is punished, she runs to her room and slams the door. Mom and Dad know that she sulks and pouts and magnifies each little event. So when Ellen is punished, they make a point of calling her out of her room within a few minutes. They get her talking, listen to her vent her feelings, then send her off to other pursuits. I' .X ('EI',TAIN stage of adolescence, griping seems to , :!:tlon 1o lhe whole world "And for anyone wlio is in Christ. there is a new creation, the old creation has gone, and now the new one is here. It is all God's work. It was God Who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the work of handing on this reconciliation. In other words, (;od in f'brist was reconciling the world to himself not holding m:m laults against them. and he has entrusted lo us the news lhtd lhc.v arc reconciled So we ',ire anlt)tiss;.idors for ('hrist: it as ;s though (;od xv(,re appealing lhrough us. ,rod the appeal (hal we make in Christ's name is: "Be reconciled to God." (2 Cor 5: t7-21, 1974 NC News Service be the national pastime. There is not a demand from parents which is not met with resistance. If this griping causes parents to back down on their demands, the children will quickly catch on that griping works. Morn and Dad can check themselves that they make only a reasonable number of demands on their children and that they follow through and see that these demands are carried out. Otherwise Mom quickly finds herself labeled "nag, nag, nag." "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.. ." says Morn. But the kids know she doesn't really mean it, so no one is listening. Teasing between brothers and sisters also has to rank asa national sport in families. Big ones tease little ones, sisters bait brothers, brothers tease sisters. As any parent knows, not even Solomon could discover who started itor who is to blame. So why try? If the teasing is mild, ignore it. If it gets worse, the underdog might get too much abuse, or Dad might simply decide that he has had enough. In this case, separate the teasers. Susie, set tle table Don, pick up the living room. Keeping the teasers busy and separated by two rooms foils even the most persistent siblings. {Of course, at this point the griping starts, but Morn already knows enough to ignore that I. CttlLDREN NEED to ex- press their feelings of anger. Anger expressed in words is more adult than anger ex- pressed in violence. It clears the air, and it lets the child know that an occasional outburst does not destroy his parents' love for him. When a child is severely punished for his angry words, the words might stop, but the anger comes out in other ways. The child becomes too quiet, too "good," and perhaps too anxious or too nervous. Griping and teasing can be regarded about the same way Dad might regard patched denims or platform shoes. He doesn't particularly like them, but he tolerates them, for he knows they'll go away eventually. At the same time, both Dad and Mom try to limit the number of demands they make on their children and to insist that those demands are carried out. The average household may seem short on love "in words and in speech"; however, when you look beyond the words, the love among reasonably happy family members is usually visible where it counts, "in deeds and in truth." 1974 NC News Service COULD A .... BMtN W S THING (( YOUR THING? yOU way why not write us for information so that when you choose to do your thing. Sublaco will be considered It could bethat a monk's thing is also your thing THE VOCATION DIRECTOR SUBIACO ABBEY SUBIACO, ARKANSAS 72865 Followers of Saint Benedict "That in all things God may be glorified" North Little Rock Funeral Home 20th and Main Streets PHONE 758-1170 For Catholic Services: * Experienced Trained Staff * Complete Equipment * Moderately Priced - Complete Family Funeral Insurance -