Newspaper Archive of
Arkansas Catholic
Litlte Rock, Arkansas
July 22, 1990     Arkansas Catholic
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July 22, 1990

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PAGE 8 ARKANSAS CATHOLIC JULY 22, By Rev. Walter Bracken, SVD, Director Diocesan Family Life Office R e o u v a :il , ..... About three years ago, some of my friends told me they were going to work on a ministry called "Retrouvaille." They proceeded to tell me that Retrou- vaille is a minis- try to hurting success stories, but this peer ministry has a considerably higher ratio of suc- cess than do private counselors. Coun- selors generally deal with people one hour a week and the time is spent on problems. On Retrouvaille, a couple spends a whole weekend together, and the emphasis is not on problems but Perhaps our priorities are in place. If one compares how much spent and how many people tribunals in this country as corn This peer ministry couples, communication. Though Retrouvailleconsiderably higher ratio Retrouvaille will not work for all, couples who do Success than do Fine (pronounced IlalianCuisine ret'-roe-vie)isa [ counselors. and French ,word Niohlly meaning redis- to Family Life offices, one would i -ntertainment covery." The large gap. We re waiting until l program began marriages break up before we pour in 1977 in the Canadian Province of ; bulk of our financial and human Quebec. It was introduced in the U.S. tli i sources intothesituation. Anounce in 1982 and is presently offered in about prevention is worth a pound of ct 35 dioceses. The ministry has also ex- unfortunately, we wait until people panded to other countries. !,,... li' I )1 really sick. The goal of Retrouvaille is to help "I, As Church, we need to serio couples who live in the pain of troub- address this issue. Retrouvaille is asi Wally Gieringer led marriages. The weekend is designed [ - | Right now, it is the best means MikeT_ Wallace to help couples communicate. The ! I[ ministering to hurting couples th 2721 Kavanaugh. 663-1196 degree of disappointment, hurt, dete- have. .......... rioration and despair in marriages cannot be healed in one weekend. f, For more information, contact: Damage to the marriage occurs over an G . extended period of time. Likewise, the Family tile RIfice restoration process takes time. E O. Box 7565 Owner moving!3 bdrm., 2 bath home, formal dining room, large family room, large - level fenced backyard, 1,817 sq.ft, located in WLR at 12320 Shawnee Forest in Christ the King parish, owner asking $84,000, Call 227- 522O. Three yr. old Park Hill home in St. Patrick's parish, 241 East B, NLR. 3 bdrm, 1 1/2 bath, 2000 sq.ft.features include a Jacuzzi, fire- place plus more! Appraised at $115,000... owner ready to sell at $107,000.Call 753- 8200. Remodeling - Additions - Decks and Siding Licensed & Bonded. Call 753-7698, GOINES CONSTRUCTION COMPANY N=s A__S_ q6T H_QJ4 c :c: L2_v Z~ + i 2\~ -.~:21dJ i.J ;3 ;J-2-~ LS:Ct C~-_$,/ ~ Two cemetery lots for sale in Calvary Come- tory, 20th & Woodrow in Little Rock, $450 each. Call 228-0591. Thank you St. Jude and St. Anthony. - A.M.P Thank you Sacred Heart and St. Jude for prayers answered. - B.A. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING RATES: $1.50 per line ( 5 words per line ). Deadline Is Wednesday, 12 noon,..ten days prior to publication. Mall your ad wtth a check to CLASSIFIEDS c/o harkansas Calhollg, P O Box 7417 Little Rock, AR 72217 Call Ron Hall, 664-0340, ext. 326 or fax your dassl- fled ad, 054-9075. Couples who commit themselves to die program are also involved in six sub- sequent sessions in the weeks that fol- low the weekend experience. Unlike Marriage Encounter, which strives to make good marriages better, Retrouvaille is meant for hurting or broken marriages. Couples come to Retrouvaille from all ages and back- grounds. Some are separated or di- vorced but want to start again. Many have struggled together, sometimes with outside help. But more often, these couples do not know where to turn. What the couples have is a strong de- sire to start over again. Some of the couples have changed a great deal from the Friday night of their weekend to the end of the sixth follow- up session. The atmosphere of hostility that they carried a few weeks before has changed to an atmosphere of openness and communication. This is not to say they have solved all their problems, but Unlike Marriage Encoun- ter, which strives to make good marriages better, Retrouvaille is meant for hurting or broken mar- riages. now they have the willingness to dis- cuss the problems openly and without hostility. One couple was separated before they came to Retrouvaille. The last I heard from them, they Were making, plans to remodel a home the two of them were going to move into. Not all our stories are going to be ~il |ll separate and divorce are able to do so without hostility. As one person told me, "I don't know if we'll stay together, but we can at least talk now." Why did I bother getting the Family Life Office involved in this ministry? One of the reasons is that we have so many divorced and hurting couples in our Church today. I wanted to do something about it. Little Rock, 72217 : 664-6346 7J, I Retrouvaille weekend is A generation of divorce What a difference a generation makes. My grandparents were not di- vorced nor was anyone of that genera- tion. My parents were not divorced nor was anyone of that generation. But in my generation the floodgates to divorce have opened. Like so many other priests, divorce has touched my family. I have one brother and he is divorced; nine of my 20 first cousins are divorced. I offici- ated at the weddings of three of my first cousins; two of those are divorced. Our Church is very much involved with hurting couples through the ministry of Retrouvaille. The couples and priests who give weekends show the hurting couples they have a Church that cares. Those team couples who share their own stories with the broken couples are the caring Church. Though our Church does care, I believe there is much we can do throughout this country and the world. The biggest emphasis on tla tion. We get a couple to examine inspects of their relationship and !begin talking about it again. An Associated Press survey of vorce lawyers found that b: marriage occur primarily because communication problems. A Yale study found that the age couple spends two minutes a in communication. So, for a to spend a weekend together with lot of time for communicating powerful experience. Role of the priest in Retrouvaille: I see the role of the priest as i fold. First, there is a lot of healing i needs to go on, and sometimes i involves the Sacrament of l i ation. Secondly, a lot I . i pam has resulted from !to the Church. The Church has o0t I always been present for these cou !and has not always been seen i caring. The priest on l weekend represents a carin i anxious to communicate with i in pain. I don't want to imply that the i represents the Church while the !couples do not. The couples i Church just as the priest is. But !priest can represent the caring cal side of the Church.