Newspaper Archive of
Arkansas Catholic
Litlte Rock, Arkansas
January 6, 1923     Arkansas Catholic
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January 6, 1923

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// i,i ,,i' ' i PAGE EIGHT THE GUARDIAN, SATURDAY, JANUARY 6, 1923. Jokes ABUSED I am a little handbag My mistress treats me rough; I Last night she stuck her hand in me I And showed up all my stuff. ] TELL HIM "'TAINT" Aggrieved Dairyman: "There you are, mum! If there's any complaint the poor milkman soon hears it; but you never tell 'ira when the milk AIN'T sour, do yer?" FINISHING TOUCH Mrs. Brownm"I hear the ,vicar thinks your daughter has a real genius for reciting, Mrs. Smith." Mrs. Smith--"Yes. All she wants, he says to me, is a course of electro- cution, just to finish 'er off like." SUPPOSING__ go "Mother. s'posing I died, would I to heaven ?" "Yes, dear." "S'posing I died because a big bear swallowed me, would he have to go too ?" JUST COUNTING 'EM A small boy came hurriedly down the street, and halted breathlessly in front of a stranger who was walking in the same direction. "Have you lost half a dollar?" be asked: "Yes, yes, I elieve I have" said the stranger, feeling in his pockets. "Have you found one?" "Oh, no," said the boy. "I just want to find out how many have been lost today. Yours makes fifty-five." CHICKEN A LA KING Grtce was cast on a cannibal isle, To lunch the King insisted she stay, The Queen said later with satisfied smile, How Graceful the King is looking to- "day? NOT FOR SALE "I thought you were going to sell your farm." "I was until I saw the alluring ad my agent got up about it." DISTANT RELATION First Irishman--And so yer name is O'Hare. Are you related to Patrick 0'Hare ? Second DittoVery distantly. I wa my mother's first child and Patrick was the 13th. ALSO AT WORK Farmer Wheatbread--"Your hired man, Josh, walks in his sleep:x don't he ?" Farmer Corntossel--"I hope so; the poor fellow needs exercise." EUCHARISTIC CONGRESS COMMITTEE ] @RT. REV. FRANCIS C. KELLEY, I. D., LL. D., has been appointed to repsent the U. S. A. on the per- manent committee of International Eucharistic Congresses. He is Pres- ident of The Catholic Church Ex. tension S Oc|y. KLAN IS OUTLAWED I BY THE MASONS J I OF PENN STATE I (By N. C. W. C. News Service) Philadelphia, Jan. 1.--The Masonic Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania has gone on record as opposed to the Ku Klux Klan and has forbidden the use of Masonic property by that organi- zation. The Grand Lodge's action, which was divulged in a public statement by Grand Master Beitler, was taken at the meeting held here for the pur- pose of installing officers. "No good Mason will hereafter hold membership in or be affiliated with the hooded outlaws," said Grand Mas- ter Beitler in his pronouncement to the 190,000 members of the Grand Lodge. The 'statement of the Grand Mas- ter is the first official acknowledg- ment that the Klan has been making special efforts to recruit members among the Masons of this State. Oth- er members of the Masonic Order for some time past have been dissuadiug younger members from having any connection with the Ku Klux Klan and other organizations that have been in- strumental in stirring up ill feeling against American citizens. The Ku Klux Klan, at the time its existence in Pennsylvania first be-' came known a year ago, claimed 3,000 members in Philadelphia and from its headquarters, in the Bellevue Court Building, was known to be preparing a campaign to flood the state with literature favorable to the "invisible empire." The first initiation of the Klan is said to have taken place in the lodge rooms of the Women's Mac- cabees Benefit Association. Mayor Moore recently ordered Di- rector of Public Safety Cortelyou to conduct an investigation of the order on reports that it was becoming active again after the period of inertia that u LARGE AREA Bobby---"What does 'knows no bounds' mean, Dad? Explain it to me. 'p Dad--(buried in newspaper) "Kangaroo with rheumatism." CONVENIENCE TravellerIt's a nuisance--these trains are always late. Country Porter--But, sir, what [ ,ould be the use of the wting-rooms if the trains were always on time ? SOCIALISTS LOSING [ IN GERMANY By Rev. Dr. Wilhelm Baron yon Capitaine (N. C. W. C. Service) I Cologne, Dec. 18.Decreases in the n strength of the Socialist party were[ shown in the results of recent elec- I tions in Mainz, Worms, Mannheim, and otter cities. From a position where they held an absolute majority within their own party, the Socialists in many instances have been reduced to a place where a combination of the other political elements can defeat them. In Manheim, for example, the Socialists now hold 40 seats while the other parties hold 44. CASTLE GIVEN FOIl SEMINAllY  NO CHANCE Returning home from the dentist's, where he had gone to have a loose m tooth drawn, little Raymond reported as follows: "The doctor told me 'fore he began that if I cried or screamed i t would cost me a dollar, but if I was a good boy it would be only fifty I cents." ] 'ed"Did you scream ?" his mother ask- I "How could I ?" answered Raymond. 'You only gave me fifty cents," HeN. W. BOURKE COCKRA-[. K. C. S. G.. who with Msgr. F. C. Kelley and General Castelnau ha,, been added to the permanent on- mittee of International Eucharist; Congresses. The" next congress wilo be held in Paris next summer. I (By N. C. W. C. News Service) Paris, Dec. 22.--A generous family has presented to the Bishop of Frejus l a large building, the Castle of La Gastille, on the shore of the Mediter- , ranea, between Hyeres and Toulon. It will be used by the bishop to house the Great Seminary of his diocese. DEAF MUTES COMMUNION Cleveland, Dec. 30.--A class of boys TIIE SUCCESS FAMILY The Father of Success is Wo. 'lhe Mother of Success Is Ambi- tion. The oldest Sois Common Sense. Some of the ther Boys are Per- severance, Honesty, Thoroughnes% Foresight, Enthusiasm and Coopera- tion. ., The oldest Daughter is Character. Some of her Sisters are Cheerful- ness, Loyalty, Courtesy, Care, Econo- my, Sincerity and Harmony. iThe Baby is Opportunity. :.Get acqtalnted with the "Old Man" able to got along pret- and girls, all deaf mutes, ranging in age from 5 to 12 years, received their BIRTH OF PASTEUR first holy communion at the hands of CELEBRATED IN PARIS [ Rt. Rev. Joseph Schrembs, D. D., Bishop of Cleveland, in the private (By Special Cable to N. C. W. C. chapel of the cathedral recently. News Service) COST OF EDUCATION Paris, Jan. 1.The centenary of the Springfield, Ill., Dec. 30.Accord- birth of Pasteur was celebrated with ing to figures given out by the office religious observances in many parts of the state superintendent of public of Franoe. In Paris services were instruction it costs $61.15 a year to held in the parish church which the educate one child in Illinois. This is great Catholic scientist habitually at- the average cost for each pupil the tended during his life time, Cardinal state over, the figure including both Dubois presided. Services were also high school and grade school pupils. held in several other churches in Paris; in Dole, where Pasteur was SCHOOL HEALTH PLANS born; in Arbois where he received his St. Paul, Dec. 30.--A health pro- early education; and at Marseilles. gram for the new year has been At Besancon, where the scientist at- launched at St. Bernard's parochial tended college, the Archbishop pro- school and was explained to parents sided at services held in the Cathe- and teachers last week. The plan in- dral. cludes the weighing and measuring of school children as a part of a program The tercentenary of the death of St. to bring up to standard the weight Francis de Sales was celebrated at and health of the pupils. Annecy with a solemn Triduum in the Cathedral and a pilgrimage to the GNATS' WORTH tomb of the Saint in the Visitation I'm so broke that I am as free from Monastery there, money as a turtle isof feathers. t The Archbishop of Chambery, an5 Slucks. If overcoats for elephants I the Bishops of Annecy, Grenoble, Bel- were five cents, I couldn't buy a pair of B. V. D's. for a gnat. ley, Tarantaise, and Fribourg, attend- ed. Ceremonies were also at Lyons and at Paris, where they were attend- ed by members of th Parliament from the Savoy districts. In the royal palace at Madris on Christmas day King Alfonso present- ed the led hat, symbol of the cardinal- ate, to Archbishop Reig y Casanova of Toledo, who was elevated to the Sa- cred College at the recent consistory. The new Cardinal was entertained at dinner by the King and the entire Royal family. followed the drive instituted by Cor- telyou last July, when a meeting of the organization was held in Grand Fraternity Hall. ILLICIT DRUGS LISTED AS OUR GRAVEST EVIL Mrs. Partridge, a New York social worker,who has studied narcotic condi- tions for years, told a State commit- tee of social workers recently that the ever-growing number of drug addicts in this country constituted the gravest social menace with which the country has to deal. She estimated that there are more than 1,000,000 addicts in the United States, of whom 75 per cent are under 25 years of age. Mrs. Partridge said that the only solution of the drug evil lies in bring- ing all drugs under Federal control. She asserted that $7,000 pounds of opium are enough for the medicinal uses, but that more than 100,000 pounds come in every year. TRY FOR PEACEIN (By Special Cable to N. C: News Service) Dublin, Jan. 1.MemberS' Irish Republican Army participated in the present are intensifying their efforts cure peace in Ireland with the c of the new year. They issued a manifesto sides to recognize the either the Free State Republicans or the Re quering the Free Staters, laration says that a tainable on a an immediate a general election on and the peaceful acceptance people's decision. TIPTON & HURST, FLORISTS 509 Main Street Telephone Little Rock, Arkansas L- M. T. WELCH, MERCHANT TAILOR 116 W. Fourth St. Telephone iittle Rock, Arkansas CRITZ BROS. PRODUCE COMPANY 310 East Markham St. Telephone Little Rock, Arkansas STEWART & M'GEHEE Kahn Building J CONSTRUCTION Telet Little Rock, Arkansas s ALEXANDER, LOCKWOOD & COMPANY Sporting Goods Exclusively 118W. Second Ave. Pine Bluff, Ark. Pei sonal Experience" THE ST. JOSEPH'S ORPHANAGE is building material for the future. THE STANDARD LUMBER COMPANY is selling "building material for the present and future. The dealer in your town sells our Millwork, Lumber, Sash and Doors. STANDARD LUMBER COMPANY Pine Bluff, Arkansas Comp! imen00 s of Healey Roth Little Rock, Aikansas